September 18, 2007

Did I tell you about the poo?

So I slept through most of my flight from Toronto to Vancouver. I was woken up by a woman saying "What took so long? Did you fall in?" to someone coming out of the bathroom... ha ha ha. Bad joke. I shuffled by my seat mate (who refused to get up for me ... so I had to slide my bum across his chest to get by - thanks buddy) and stood in line to pee.

Got into the washroom and did my best to pee without touching anything. As I'm squatting over the toilet ... I look across at the door and I notice something smudged on the door. Is it? Could it be? OH MY GOD! Someone smeared poo on the door. ON THE DOOR!

I felt like I was in a horror movie - you know - when everything turns into slow motion and the person in the movie realizes that they're in a room covered with blood... only this time it's poo. There was poo on the wall. Poo on the mirror. POO IN THE SINK! Who does that? Who poos in the sink?

I immediately got up and got out of the bathroom as quickly and cleanly as possible and told the flight attendant. She looked mortified (and rightfully so) and went into the bathroom with rubber gloves and cleaner. Poor dear...I got back to my seat and immediately wiped my entire body down with a mini-bottle of hand sanitizer that I always carry with me when I travel.

DEAR PASSENGERS!
Here's a tip. Don't poo in the sink. Don't spread your poo around. If you're having problems in the bathroom... ask for help.

Next time I fly I'm going to wear adult diapers and wrap myself in bubble wrap... Do you think homeland security will have a problem with that?

7 comments:

E.K. Wimmer said...

I'll tell you what...poo stories never get old, and they ALWAYS entertain! Thanks for that gem. I have to say that it does sound like you had a pretty crappy flight.

JJ said...

Who does that? Who poos in the sink?

haha. classic.

Erin said...

EEK! That's just wrong! I'm about a week away from a day of flying and airports, and against everything I know is right, I will allow myself to slightly dehydrate so I don't have so much bathroom time. I think I wee about every 45mins in normal life and that's just not going to happen in an airport/plane setting! I found a pube on the toilet at work last week and just about died!! Poo???? I can't imagine what I'd do!!

Anonymous said...

ACKKK!!!! and EWWWWWW!!!
diapers and bubble wrap sound like a good plan!
Where I used to work there was no bathroom, so we had to go upstairs to the cafe and use theirs. I learned to walk in, look around & check it out before closing the door. There were sooo many times I had to go tell them that someone had peed on the floor or all over the toilet seat, or that there was poo on the floor, wall, or toilet seat, or that some woman had made a mess with her period all over the toilet & floor(yeah, I know, Too Much Information!). Why do people do that?????? It's GROSS!

Judy said...

That. Is. Disgusting.

I already had a problem using plane bathrooms - don't think I ever will again!

sar said...

I'm sorry Sista... I realize that this would be an awful thing to experience.. but the way you tell this story has me in stitches.

That is hilarious!

*laugh*

leigh said...

ewwww...that reminds me of when i was sick and flying home from morocco. there was a lot of poo, but it was all in the toilet! tmi?!