June 26, 2008

39.999999

Well this is my last day being 39 and my thoughts wander to my Mum. She never made it to 40.

When I was younger I used to feel sad for myself that I didn't have a mother. I had a lot of 'woe is me' that I carried around for a long time. Now that this milestone is here in front of me ... I just feel sad for my Mum. She was too young to die.

I feel like my life is just starting. That I've just figured out how I work. That I just now have a grasp on my potential. It's heartbreaking that she didn't get a chance to do any of that.

Tomorrow is a big day on so many levels... I wish she was here to celebrate with me.

5 comments:

E.K. Wimmer said...

That's a beautiful photo.

Monika said...

You living your life to its potential is keeping her spirit alive.

Have a wonderful day and look happily forward to what is hopefully the best year of your life so far.

-Monika

vegannikki said...

Beautiful Pic!

Anonymous said...

Your mother would be incredibly proud of you (just as the rest of us are!). It was she who introduced you to vegetarianism, and you're continuing on that path and inspiring and leading so many of us. I know it's hard to not have her here with you, but you can take comfort in your memories and continue to live your life in such a way that you are indeed a credit to her and her memory.

Enjoy your day and have a yummy vegan cake! :-)

AKM

Anonymous said...

You wouldn't be who you are if it weren't for your mum.
I think every day about how my dad helped turn me into the kid I am today. He and I were the only lefties, and he died two years ago next month.
Take comfort in all the things she taught you, intentional or not. Don't forget the little things either, I saw a picture of dad just a few days ago, and I was holding my chin the exact same way he was in the picture.
Have a happy birthday, you deserve it.
-San